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Dealing with loss
and grief occurs many times throughout a person’s life. However, dealing with the loss of a loved one is beyond the others in intensity. The intense emotions my be felt immediate, or days or weeks may pass before they’re felt. The feelings may be intensified by a sudden death. The closer and more intimate the relationship, the more the severe the grief may be. Grief is a necessary process and there are various ways of dealing with it. It must be emphasized that everyone handles grief differently - in their own way and their own time. There is no specific “time period” for grieving.
Rearranging your life
If your loved one died at home and you shared a bedroom, you will have to decide what is best for you - continue to sleep in the room or move to another. If you stay in the room, it might help to rearrange the furniture. You may want to remove a hospital bed or other equipment that rather quickly. Perhaps ask a friend or family member to stay with you for a while. Also, you may want to do with the loved one’s clothing, jewelry and other personal possessions. Giving away your loved ones possessions can be a healing process. It may be a nice idea to let other family members choose something of the person’s to keep that has meaning for them. This process can be done right away, within a few days - or it could take months.
Letting Grief Be Present
There is no special way to grief, but allow yourself to feel the pain, fear, anger - whatever you’re feeling. Grieving allows you to heal.
Sustaining Faith and Hope
There may be times after the death of a loved one when you have a sense of talking to them or feeling their presence. Your faith in life can be challenged. Learn to release tears, anger and sadness. If you don’t do this during the grieving process, it is likely to resurface at some other time during your life. Cry alone or with others, whatever you feel comfortable with as this allows for a cleansing process. It’s impossible to hold it all inside without increasing suffering, separation and fear.
Healing Memories and Getting Unstuck
You need to go through the time of healing at a pace that feels right for you. At some point, however, you’ll begin to remember the fun times, the good time, and the pain will lessen. You will never forget but the pain will ease with time. Some people say, “it’s been six months since my husband, son, mother died - why am I still depressed and cry.” The time you need to heal is different from anyone else. Slowly, create new rituals of healing in the form of prayer, meditation, listening to music, dance, exercise, a new hobby, any type of action that will get you moving once again. This may sound silly to a person going through the beginning stages of grief, but healing rituals can help ease your loss and pain. Stay open and let the pain in and give yourself time to feel it.
Ways to Deal With Grief:
Talk to family or friends
Seek counseling
Read poetry or books
Engage in social activities
Exercise
Eat healthy, good foods
Seek spiritual support
Take time to relax
Join a support group
Listen to music
Be patient with yourself
Let yourself feel the pain
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